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DCBtrebleclef2009

Fun

Church Bulletin Bloopers:

- "For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs."

- "The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church."

- "Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door."

- "Anointing of the sick ... If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request."

- Last song "and we will finish with...." - TAKE MY LIFE

- "Next weeks speaker will be found pinned up on the notice board"

 

Stupid Questions from Lawyers

The following questions by lawyers were taken from actual court documents in America:

• "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"

 

•  "Now doctor, is it not true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?"

 

• Q: "What happened then?"
A: "He told me, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Q: "And did he kill you?"

 

• "Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

 

• "The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?"

 

• "Were you alone or by yourself?"

 

• "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

 

• Q: "I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?" 
A: "That’s me."
Q: "Were you present when he picture was taken?"

 

• "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

 

• Q: "Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated ?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

 

• Q: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
A: "I’ll be three months on November 8th."
Q: "Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: "Yes."
Q: "What were you doing at that time?
 

• "So you were gone until you returned?"
 

• Q: "She had three children right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
 

• "Mrs. Jones, how many times have you committed suicide?"
 

• "You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

 

• Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

 

• Q: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?"
A: "The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Edington was dead at that time?"

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